After Holiday wind down

We made it! Christmas wasn't nearly as chaotic as it has been in the past. We still ended up shuffling around on Christmas day between 2-5 different places but we were able to enjoy most of the day with one side of the family. We really enjoyed the quality time we got to spend with with Oliver's. Here are a few photos from our time with family. Most of them are with my family, because I forgot my camera all day on Christmas. Bummer! I'll try to steal some from Brooke if I can.


My parents


My family



Carrie and Tyler


My brother and me

Happy New YEAR!

"On the first day of Vacation....." (sang as though it was the 12 days of Christmas)

Today started out at 8:00 with the alarm going off, and getting up to go to the doctor for a check-up. I'm specifically wanting information regarding my thyroid levels, cholesterol, and iron levels. It all went pretty well, I'll get results back in a week or 2. Then, I went to Target to start my Christmas shopping. Yes, that's right. Start. I have never waited this long to be start Christmas shopping, well not true, likely in Grad school I waited because I didn't have money or time. Was going to do online shopping but everything was out of stock. Never have had that problem. All orders would have been received after Christmas. Next year I'm seriously thinking of doing this Dontate at World Vision in the name of the person we would give a gift to; because honestly, I feel so fortunate to have the things we have. It's been very hard for me to buy others things, because truly we all have so much more than others in this world. There is a homeless person who sits outside our church every Sunday, and I usually think "Brilliant idea, get the Christians to feel sorry for you and give you their money." But yesterday, I gave in. We gave him some money and wished him a Merry Christmas. It was something little, and I truly can say that I didn't do it to make myself feel better. I did it because I have no right to assume he will waste the money on alcohol or drugs. It's none of my business, but God wants us to love on another without judgment, and to give wherever and whenever we can give. I wish I could have given him more, but that was all the cash I had on me. My heart is to give to those who need it. I love my family and I suppose they need things too, but I can't imagine they need them more than someone else. So discussions at this years Christmas will include what we will do next year, because that really excites me to think that next year we can spend the money we would normally spend on ourselves and each other and give to those who need it more. Tim came home for lunch and I made us some grilled Cheese Sandwiches and fixed up a plate with some other snacks. It was nice to see him for a bit. I wrapped about 10 boxes/gifts and now I'm finally sitting down to write this and then maybe start a puzzle I borrowed from a friend. I'm pretty excited about doing a new/different puzzle. I think a puzzle exchange would be a fabulous idea. Dinner will need to bet started about 5:00, because at 6:30 our small group is having a party. An ugly Christmas sweater party, which I am really undecided on. These parties were fun when it was novel and not many people had parties like this. Ugly sweaters and shirts sold out at Goodwill months ago, and we were the fools there last night trying to find something we could wear. What a waste, we are buying a dumb shirt just to wear and either take up space in the closet or go right back to Goodwill the day after Christmas. I just don't get it. It's not novel anymore, and everyone has a party like this. I like to be different and do the opposite of everyone, also we're doing a 5 dollar exchange, which is also a bit ridiculous, because you can't buy much of anything nice for 5 bucks, so you are buying junk to receive different junk. I can't stand more junk. I'm trying to make my house nice, organized and cohesive. I'm not in favor of collection junk. So I was able to find something I actually wouldn't mind keeping, so I'm hoping to get it back tonight. Then after that party, I will be driving to Puyallup to spend some time with my dad tomorrow, do some more Christmas shopping and get my hair cut. I've been going to my good friend in Puyallup for years and I won't go anywhere else. So I'm making an overnighter out of it. So I'll spend tomorrow with my dad and come back Tuesday night, to spend Wednesday at home. Tim is taking Thursday off because he has some days to burn before the end of the year. We'll likely go to Puyallup Christmas Eve, spend the night there and return no the 26th. My family has been so great to change our Christmas traditions to be a day or two after Christmas which allows us to be more flexible with Christmas. However, it seems people have forgotten how hard it is for people who are out of town to go somewhere else and go to 5-6 different places on Christmas just to see everyone. I wish our families could work out something either weekend before/after Christmas or a couple days before to spread it out. Because this year we'll be going to 4-6 places, we have no idea where we will be eating and that drives me crazy because that is my favorite part of the holiday. Nobody has told me to bring anything, so I'm not. It's just weird. Communication has been poor and it's coming in days. So unfortunately, I do not look forward to the 25th because we'll be here and there for 2 hours at a time and that is in no way a relaxing, joyful or memory filled day. Oh well. Guess things will be different someday, so we'll just suck it up and keep having stressful Christmas's until who knows when. Alright...off to do something relaxing. MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Some Christmas pictures of our house

We haven't done much but it's enough to realize it's Christmas and to remember what it's all about.

Pictures from our trip to California

It's my Birthday today!

For the first time in a while, I've actually looked forward to my birthday. My birthday has not always been convenient. It's a busy time of year, people have a hard time pulling away to celebrate with us, and all I ever really want to do is be with family and close friends. Today I'm having my family up, as we won't be with them for Christmas this year (instead we'll be with Tim's family all day, but still going to 4-5 different houses--another blog I know). It will be nice because my family (cousins and aunt's and uncles) used to be our closest friends becasue we all lived pretty close, so we always had family over. And most of our family hasn't seen our house, so I thought might as well have everyone over. So I'm looking forward to it. Doing some cleaning, baked sugar cookies with Sarah last night, and going to make some snacks for everyone. Seems kinda funny I'm doing everything for my own birthday but the truth is, my birthday hasn't been the big deal for me as it might be for others, but a first in a while is that I'm excited for today! Just hoping for no snow. That would be a perfect way to END my excitement (past birthday experiences and snow=bad memories --it is December and always possible) for the day.  So snow please stay away at least until tonight so I can spend the day with family and there will be no threat of canceling or people leaving early!

Thanks for all the birthday wishes on facebook my lovely friends! Off to have a great day (hopefully)

Carlee

We're Off!

I'll update on Tuesday hopefully. As of now, our thoughts will be about Rockin Baha Lobster, Disneyland, rainbows, yogurt mill, and fun!

Do you ever get the feeling???

I lay here in bed, with my laptop when I should be so tired that I my head hits the pillow and I quickly go into deep sleep, like every other night. Tim is off playing a late night soccer game, so I have time to pray, talk to God, read my bible, think about things. Something is just really bothering me, and Tim's not home to help me talk it out. Do you ever get the feeling that you aren't liked by people? I know it's a strange thought, to have the night before Thanksgiving but I have been told by many that I am both approachable and intimidating. Such a weird combo, the response is about 50/50 when people I trust and love have been honest enough to tell me. It's the intimidating one I don't understand. For the most part I really try to be welcoming, comforting, put other first. But then as I write those characteristics I realize that I am sometimes really open and honest...so maybe that's what intimidates people. I just hate that word and I hate knowing that some people don't want to get to know me, forgive me, or move on because of some silly characteristic of mine. As I lay in bed too, and think about all the things I'm thankful for, on my list is friends and family that I get to see and go to when I need them. I never really had solid friends growing up, that person who is always there. Friends came and went from year to year and I never really understood friendships until I got older, entered Grad school and kept people close to me as I held on tightly to them. These people have been through rough times with me. But how long before those people who do have issues with you can forgive and forget? We all do funny things in our life, but to what point do we just say we're sorry and move on? I guess I'm more bothered by this thought of not being liked than I really thought. It's just not a good feeling. I try really hard to put other people first, to initiate conversations to reduce awkwardness; but to some point when trying doesn't go anywhere you have to say to yourself "alright well guess I'll try again next time because I'm not going stop being me and ruin my time." (sorry if that line doesn't make sense, it makes sense to me--because it's my thought). Do you ever get the feeling like people talk at you or to the group, but not directly to YOU? I'm in a lot of situations where I'm in a group, every Tuesday/Wednesday morning for my morning team meetings with my CST teams at both my schools (team interventions at school), Small group, hanging out with friends, and more often then not I've noticed that some people just don't like to make eye contact. I've never really noticed this until recently, but even my students don't like to make eye contact. Is this just a new social norm that I didn't get the memo on? I know I'm going on a tangent but it goes with the idea of "do you ever get the feeling that...(and my own twist) people you talk to don't want to make eye contact with you?" As a speech therapist, I am constantly noticing people's body language, eye gaze, conversation skills, pragmatics, etc. It's my job to notice these things, so unfortunately I always notice awkward pauses (as most people do), but mostly when people don't want to look at you when they're talking. What do you think this means? Is it intentional? Not intentional? Is it just a socially awkward thing to do these days..you know look at people you're talking to? I teach my kids all the time, to show respect to others and use their eyes to look at those they are talking and listening too. It's basic pragmatics and social skills. I do this everyday! Tell the kids to "think with their eyes" but then I talk to adults who also struggle with this. It's just interesting. Well personally, it makes me feel really weird when someone won't look at me when their talking to me, or I'm talking to them. And it just "gives me a weird feeling" like I'm not trusted, not liked, or not acknowledged. I lay here with a weird feeling. Not really sure what started it, but I thought I'd share my random thoughts and question of what makes you (my reader friends) ask that question....."do you ever get the feeling that....?" My goal is to make those around me feel loved, appreciated, acknowledged and important. And if I'm not doing that, than I ask you to call me out on it. I know God has called me to love all people no matter what, I know I struggle showing it at times, but as I remind myself how thankful I am for close friends and family, I hope they would be strong enough, as well as love and appreciate me enough to call me out on such a thing. If you're reading this, and you have some funny thing about me that happened in the past, or I've done something to offend you or make you feel uncomfortable around me please know that I'm truly sorry for any discomfort I have caused you and that I have only good intentions to encourage you and to make you feel comfortable around me. If you aren't able to accept this round about apology I pray that you can someday personally come and talk to me about what it is I have done that has made it so hard for you to move past....well...whatever it was I did. During this Thanksgiving holiday, I'm too thankful for you (whoever is reading this) in my life and it just bothers me enough to lay awake and not be able to sleep and write a blog. It's possible that none of you, my friendly and amazing readers, have intimidated by me, or hurt in a way that would cause an awkward pause in our friendship/relationship, and if that's the case then thanks for reading and at least you know where my heart is tonight. I long to have peace with a lot of people in my life, I pray that people are able to forgive me for whatever I've done. But there is a point when I need to realize I have put in the efforts, and now its up to the others to figure out what it is I've done and come to me in hopes for peace also....

Ok, Ok. I'm done, this was weird to write I don't know why I have this feeling tonight or why I feel the need to write it. I know that there are 4 solid friends/family that read this blog that would call me out on foolish/selfish things I say/do and I write this for you to keep me accountable in my actions and words towards other people. If I'm not uplifting you or encouraging you in any way, than I'm in the wrong and I might need your help by bringing it to my attention.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, We have so much to be thankful for and I hope you all know I'm thankful for you and my experiences with everyone who reads this are what has made me me. You are dear to me and my life and I'm blessed in so many ways by all of you! Be blessed this holiday season, eat turkey and be merry!

Carlee